Top Tips For Dating A Single Mum

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As we get older we are more likely to date someone that already has children. Here are some of our best tips for building a lasting relationship with a single mum.

Be reliable. If you’ve made plans, stick to them. She will only have limited time as her schedule is likely to be quite tight due to childcare restrictions so be on time and don’t let her down!

Ask about her kids. Show her you’re interested in them but don’t only talk about them – she’s got a rare night off and will enjoy being herself for a change so make sure you also ask about herself and things she likes other than her children.

Accept that her ex is likely to still be around. The children’s father will be in their lives and therefore in hers, which is something you will have to get used to. Keep yourself in the background and be supportive. This may be a positive as she is likely to have some free time whilst the kids are with their dad so this is key dating time for you!

You’re not expected to be a parent to her children. She isn’t looking for a father for them; they already have one regardless of whether he’s around or not. Support her and let her know you’re there for her and the kids but leave the parenting to her until you’re in an established relationship and become a family unit.

The little things count. Single mums are likely to have different priorities compared to women without children. Smaller things like arranging what to do on your date so she doesn’t have to worry will make a big difference and will be appreciated as much as or more than big gestures.

Be flexible. Don’t get upset if she has to cancel dates at the last minute. Children can be unpredictable and childcare plans can fall through. If she’s cancelling she will have a valid and unavoidable reason. Be kind and understanding and arrange another date for another time that suits her.

Don’t rush things. She will want to take her time getting to know you before you’re introduced to her kids. She needs to make sure you’re serious and are going to stick around as the stability for the children is important. Be patient and go at her pace.

Just remember that her children are her first priority and you will always take a back seat. Be prepared to take it slow (especially if you’re the first person she’s dated as a single mum) and let her set the boundaries.

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6 Versatile Date Ideas For Single Parents

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Getting back into the dating game can be difficult as a single parent, so take the stress out of the situation by trying out some of these useful suggestions.

  • Arrange a lunch date
    Having children can mean there isn’t much time left for you, so make the most of the time you do have whilst they’re at school and arrange your date for a lunch time, removing the stress around where they will go whilst you’re out.
  •  Exercise together
    If you both squeeze exercise into your daily schedules then try and sync your workouts or gym sessions to the same time. If you both love jogging, then go together. If you both love playing tennis, have a game! It’s something fun to do whilst also keeping to your daily routine!
  •  Do your weekly shop together
    Improve one of the more mundane tasks during your week by doing it together! It gives you time to chat whilst achieving an important chore. Some supermarkets also have a coffee shop so why not have a break and grab a drink too!
  • Arrange a “speed date”
    If you’re really short of time, think about arranging short dates for however long you can manage. This way you can still meet face to face and spend time getting to know each other over a 45 minute coffee date, without the pressures of finding childcare or trying to make time you don’t have.
  • Walk the dog
    If one or both of you have a canine friend, incorporate your daily dog walk and a date! You could even pack a picnic and sit in the park if you have a bit of extra time on your hands. Your pet(s) will give you a topic of conversation and something else to focus on should the nerves take over!
  • Take the kids!
    You’ve been dating a while and you’re ready to introduce them to your children. Organise a day out or a family activity where your new partner can get involved. Go to a PYO (pick your own) farm, a zoo, play laser tag, or simply go to the park with a ball. Making the activity fun in a non-pressured environment will help your children get used to a new person being around and will also provide an opportunity to introduce their children to yours if they have them.

Still looking for your soulmate? Join singlemums.net for free today and start meeting new people!

23 things you should never say to a single parent!

According to the Huffington Post here are 23 things you should never say to a single parent:

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1. “‘OMG I am totally a single mum this week! My hubby is out of town for 5 days. I THINK I MIGHT GO INSANE!’

– Please. NEVER SAY THIS to a single parent!!

2.  At least you get time to yourself now.

3. “‘Well, there’s thousands of single parents out there, I’m sure you can do it all just like they do.’

Are you kidding me? Please volunteer to babysit some evening and give us very poor, struggling parents a break!”

4. “‘Poor kids, they are scarred for life.’

No, actually my kids are ‘A’ students and are very happy with their lives. They actually feel sorry for their friends who have to go home to a bunch of fighting.”

5. “When are you getting married again?”

6.  “‘Why are you so tired?’

Duh!!!!!”

7.  “‘You need to find yourself a husband; girls raised without a father end up sexually promiscuous and boys end up being criminals.’

I’ve actually had a number of people say this to me.”

8.  “You sure that’s best for the kids?”

9.  “‘It’s no different than having a spouse. I see no difference at all.’

Said to me by my boss…and I have 100% full custody

10. “‘ It must be so nice to have time away from the kids!’

Well, yeah, but it’s also really hard to know you’re missing half of their lives.”

11. “It’s the most rewarding thing ever!”

12. “You need to prioritize.”

13.  “‘My husband works so much, I’m basically a single mother too.’

…..no one will ever understand unless they live it.”

14. “‘I do everything you do…. You get the benefit of not having to live with a man!’

Really? Hope you never have to experience the reality.”

15. “‘You need a man in your life.’

HA! That’s where all the trouble started in the first place. I had many people tell me that, boy were they wrong. I should have stayed single, would have been better off.”

16. “‘ It’s easy. It doesn’t sound too hard!’

Go have yourself a teenager and then come back and tell me how ‘easy’ it is!”

17.  “You are lucky you do not have a spouse to fight with”

18. “‘You have it easy, you can use your kid as an excuse.’

That was said regarding NEEDING to leave early #Juggling #TakesaVillage #ItsNotEasy”

19. “Just how do you do it?”

20.  “[With a sad, patronizing face] ‘How are you coping with life?’

21. “Every child needs both their parents there.”

22. “I don’t appreciate when strangers ask me if the father is involved with the child. A) It’s none of your business and B) He isn’t which makes it upsetting to have to reply!”

23. “‘You should spend more time with the kids and less time working.’

Bills don’t pay themselves and food doesn’t appear magically.”

We agree with the Huffington Post’s quotes! So the next time you consider offering a single parent unsolicited advice, you may want to think twice.  Though the constructive criticism generally comes from a well-meaning place, as many single dads and moms will tell you, the tone struck is all too often judgmental rather than supportive.

 

Click here to read the full article

Read Some Of Our Success Stories!

Read Some Of Our Success Stories! – Still looking for your perfect match? Here are just a few of our many success stories! These just go to show that it can work for you too!

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Well our journey began with me logging onto the site. George saw me pop up on the site and sent me a message. I asked if he wanted to go for a walk so we went to the park.When I saw him I knew we would be ok together. He hugged me and we walked and talked. We sat on a bench and had our first kiss looking out by the water, very romantic. We have been to the pub and a castle since and laughed like I have never laughed before. He is the most caring man I have ever known. I never thought it was possible but never gave up hope.

Lidia and George

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I first contacted Rod when I saw his diary post and posted a comment to which he replied to. I was attracted to his smile and he was wearing his motorbike leathers and looked very handsome. For our first date Rod rode a 300 mile round trip to watch me compete in a charity race. After a lovely walk and chatting lots, we had our first kiss at the end of our first date. We’ve been on lots of dates now; including visiting the Tate, a trip down the Thames as well as going to a few gigs to see his band play. We have very high hopes for a long, happy future together.

Becca & Rod

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Paddy and I had our first date after emailing and texting each other for a couple of weeks. Needless to say that we were both filled with nerves. There was no need to feel nervous though as the date went really well. In the following weeks Paddy and I had many more dates and we officially became a couple on Wednesday 4th April 2012. On Christmas morning 2012, Paddy got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and of course I said yes! We are getting married in July 2012 and we cannot wait! I think we are proof that online dating works and that people shouldn’t give up after a bad date.

Leanne and Paddy

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Well, where do I start, thanks to the site I have found my perfect match! I met Dave after he winked at me on the site and we started sending messages to each other. We then decided to swap phone numbers and ended up speaking for hours on end each night. Our first meet was amazing; We hit it off straight away and had our first kiss too! Its been an amazing 5 weeks since then and we both cant believe how this had turned out. It was bizarre as I hadn’t experienced such closeness with someone in such a short time. Online dating does work and I am so pleased I took the plunge!

Janine + Dave

 

So make sure you keep at it and, who knows, you could be our next success story!

Dating during a heat wave…

Dating during a heat wave… Here are some top tips on how to meet your summer romance. They’re not just going to knock on your door, you have to venture out and find them, and with this nice hot weather putting us all in a better mood, the chances of finding love are higher than ever.
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•If you’re sick of being single, then don’t be! Accept all the invites you receive! Even if you feel it’s pointless you could be completely wrong, the more events you go to, the more social you will be and more likely to meet Mr. right!
• Maybe consider organising some of your own summer events, maybe a BBQ? Encourage your friends to invite any single people they may know, this might help to get the ball rolling.
• Single’s are more likely to go out during the summer months, so encourage your friends to go out to bars, restaurants or pubs with you. This will give you a better opportunity to get to know new people.
• Holiday romances are often fun, but to avoid disappointment don’t expect to get into a long term relationship. It will most likely just turn out to be a holiday fling.
• You can’t be hiding under big coats and baggy sweaters during these warm months, so be aware of your posture. Stand confidently and keep smiling, there is nothing more attractive.
• Joining an online dating agency such as SingleMums.Net is a great way to meet people, and more importantly one of the best ways to find the perfect match you’re looking for.

So why not try some of these dating ideas and see how you get on! Good luck!

5 Ways For Single Moms To Make Dating OK For Kids

Many children will never fully get used to the idea of their parents dating. We are all mothers; we love our children and we want them to be happy, but it is equally important that mom be fulfilled and happy too.

These following 5 suggestions will allow your children to feel at ease with this new phase of your life and will enable you to have the social life you deserve;

1. Encourage your kids to let go of the fairy tale.

2. Make it clear that you’re not rushing to remarry.

3. Understand that the kids’ loyalty may be divided.

4. Don’t date based on your children’s preferences.

5. Don’t feel guilty for having a social life.

 

To read the full article on how to help your children feel comfortable with your dating decisions click here.

How to create the Perfect Profile

Here’s our Top Tips for creating the perfect profile to attract the ideal match!

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Upload a photo:

Your profile photo is the first thing a member sees and it’s simply natural to want to put a face to a name. Put aside a few minutes to add a good, friendly profile photo to grab some attention… don’t forget to smile.

Update your profile text:

Write what comes naturally. Make it a simple introduction to who you are and what you are looking for. Be honest and positive – it’s early days, so you don’t have to share everything at this stage – just provide what you are comfortable with to start that first conversation.

Update your interests:

Selecting interests is almost as important as writing a good profile: we know that a large number of our members search by interests. Having something to share is essential to any relationship. This will also help to ensure that your preferences are recognized by other members and you get the match you’re after. Carefully select those interests that really mean something to you: don’t select interests just because you think they will appeal to others. It’s a really simple process and can only help you to get what you’re looking for.

 

What are you waiting for? Update your profile now and increase your chances of finding that perfect match.

Good luck,

The SingleMums.Net Team.

New Year, New Man!

Are you looking for a new man this season!? It’s not easy to start a new life after long years of marriage and bringing up a child alone. Many single women try to set up a new family to create a new personal life. Some women succeed and some women have new difficulties and disappointments. But with the help of our blog and by joining SingleMums.Net we’re sure you’ll get just what you want this Christmas!

Top 5 ways how to get a new man in 2013!;

1. Look and feel your best!

You may have heard it’s what’s on the inside that counts but unfortunately men’s instincts say otherwise. Before the man will take their time to get to know you they will make a judgement on your appearance and whether he thinks you’re his type or not. This doesn’t mean you have to look like a super model or constantly go out dressed up to the nines. However you should put some effort in for when you’re going out in public as you never know who you might come across. You wouldn’t show up to an interview looking like you’ve just rolled out of bed, so even when you don’t anticipate on seeing anyone when you’re out its a good idea to always look your best, resulting in you feeling the same way!

 

2.  Be happy within yourself!

Being single is stressful even without the strain of looking after children on your own! And even worse the transition from being a single mother to having to possibly introduce a new man into your life can create even more stressors. However it is very important when you’re meeting someone to seem happy and content with where your life is and will go in the near future. No man wants to be around, let alone date someone who’s seen as dramatic, so if things are stressing you out do your best to deal with it in your own time.

 

3.  Don’t only think of yourself but your kids too!

Think about how your new man can fit into your lifestyle before committing yourself to anything. Put yours and your children’s needs first as they are what matter the most. When it comes to introducing him to your kids you should be very sure that there is a potential future with him, its best not to make it seem like a big deal, but as if he is just a friend of yours. This will give the children time to bond with the man without feeling any feelings of jealousy or replacement. If after a few months or so you still feel there is definitely potential then it is probably best to slowly start introducing him in a different way, but always be honest with not only yourself but your children as well.

 

4. Take your time!

Think about how your new man could blend in with your life. Not only must you be sure on this but you must give each other natural space as well as giving your children all the attention they need and making sure they are not missing out due to your new man. Space out your time together so that you don’t smother each other. Be confident within your relationship to know that the two of you do not have to be joined at the hip to be in a solid relationship. Encourage him to go out with his friends and you do the same so that you can appreciate your time apart when you see each other again.

 

5. Make sure you are over your ex!

Give your new relationship a chance to grow and develop without a pesky, lingering ex resurfacing. Have a clear conversation with your man that sets up some general rules about how you will both handle issues from your past so you’re discussing them as a team and not hiding things from each other. This may be more difficult for the man to handle as you have had children with your ex partner and may have been married, tell him he has nothing to worry about and should trust you when you say you are completely over him and no longer have feelings for him. But at the same time he will need to understand that the ex may still be around as he still needs a relationship with the children.

 

We hope these tips will help you find the man you’re looking for & we wish you a merry Christmas and happy new year from the team at SingleMums.Net!